This life is meant to be hard - why do we expect the opposite?

Of course life is beautiful and amazing and we all deserve abundance and happiness but that doesn't mean that life is not hard sometimes. We live on a planet with contrasts - dark and light or birth and death, for example. One wouldn't be without the other. Humans can be kind and loving or hateful towards each other and themselves, this is in our human nature, we have different facets and so does life.

Speaking from a spiritual point of view, I do believe deeply that everything connects back to one source that is pure light and bliss and every being somehow deep down remembers this unconditional feeling of love and divine energy. This is probably one reason why we struggle so much when we have to face difficulties, why it feels wrong that we have to struggle. On a biological level our brain tends to remember the so-called negative experiences more intensely. It is a protection mechanism to avoid "bad things" to happen again. The memory saves all those unpleasant incidents and they seem more intense to us. As we live in a world of opposites there is no way around challenging times. We are here to learn and grow and this would not be possible if we would never face any confrontations. Imagine as babies we would simply give up trying to walk because we don't want to fall down anymore, or a seed that stops growing because it doesn't want to face the soil on top of it. Life will be hard at times, even brutal maybe but this is what helps us grow and thrive. We are here to experience all that life has to offer.

Now, the good news is that we don't necessarily have to suffer because something bad is happening in our life. Suffering comes only from resisting to what already is, as Buddhism teaches us. It is up to us how we face our challenges and if we choose to see it as a chance for growth or as some kind of punishment. Our mind and our ego will tell us, if we are not conscious yet, that those bad things are not meant to be and that we don't deserve them. If this is the case it is necessary to step out of a victimizing way of perceiving and stop taking things personal. Yes, there is Karma and everything that we did, said or thought in the past affects the life we live now but it is not punishment. It is a neutral way of existence - it is cause and effect. So, if you want to not be burdened anymore by the struggles that will arise it is inevitable to change your point of view, your awareness. Become your own observer.

Through meditation and mindfulness it is possible to gain distance from your thoughts and let this space allow to 'de-intensify' any situation. Discovering the difference between the higher-self and the mind makes it easier to really see what is behind all this. If we meditate on a regular basis we learn to listen and hear what comes really from within us and what is conditioning and false believe. This ability is the key to a happier life.

Through accepting what is we have more strength to face challenges because we can put our energy into solving and learning. When we are in resistance to something it costs immense energy and we feel weakened and depressed. Only when we see and accept that there will be good and bad and that both is equally normal in this world we will be able to stop suffering from our outer circumstances.

Accepting does not mean to stop wanting to change things. It is not about letting things happen to you or giving up. It means to accept what already is and out of this inner peace gain the strength to change whatever is possible. Not resisting gives you power and helps you to grow from a situation. If you ask yourself what you can learn from a challenge you change your point of view from a passive to an active one and start to be the creator and stop being the victim of life. A constructive mindset automatically attracts positivity and that is what you will attract into your life.

It is important to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel when you face difficulties. Allow yourself to be sad and grieve if a loved one dies, allow yourself to be angry or hurt if you lose a job you liked or just be heartbroken after a break-up. Don't resist to those feeling as, again, this is what causes more suffering. Sit with your feelings and let them be there as long as necessary. Don't judge too much into good and bad emotions. We are humans and we are so complex. Why would one part of us be good and another one bad or not meant to be. As these multi-faceted beings, we are created to experience this whole variety that life offers, so there is no right or wrong - or no wrong.

If we stop believing that life always has to be easy we will be able to receive this complete abundance that is meant to be. We never know what might come out of an unpleasant situation, where it might lead us. The lost job might be an opportunity for following our real dreams or the break-up might lead us towards our soulmate or to falling in love with ourselves. Take challenges as a possibility for growth - this is why we are here. Life is hard but it is great as well and both is meant to be. Start loving the down phases and in no time you will rise up again.