The Unexpected - What if your life is nothing like you thought it would be?

When we grow up most of us have at least a vague idea of how we imagine our life to turn out. As kids or teenagers we believe that by the time we are 30 we have it all figured out and live a 'grown-up' life. Especially the generation of Millennials is quite different than their parent's generation, which used to have a pretty settled and stable lifestyle. We have been taught that we have to study hard in order to get a 'good' job, to buy a house and settle with a family. However many millennials discovered a very different lifestyle for themselves and more and more people started to travel, change their jobs frequently and don't want kids at all. Times have changed and we never had that much freedom which is great but somehow in the back of our minds there is this voice that asks if we shouldn't settle down after all and live a secure and stable life. It is what we have been told and that is hard to let go of even though it doesn't feel right at all.

No matter what lifestyle we chose for ourselves there will be times where we question it all. Do I want kids or not? Should I quit my job and travel or should I stop travelling and get a steady job? These doubts are normal to a certain extent but what if the life we are living is so different from what we want or thought we would have by now? It can be really painful to let go of the image that we have about ourselves and about our life. Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to or they don't come when we want them but at a much later point in life. It feels like taking a wrong turn at a crossroads and not being able to turn back, getting lost and having to do a big detour. This can feel scary and very inconvenient but it will also bring us experiences we wouldn't even have imagined. If everything always goes according to plan life would get quite boring. It often is about the roads less travelled and the detours that bring us amazing moments, people and growth into our lives - and that is what it's all about in the end.

Nevertheless, even knowing this, it hurts to not have the life our hearts desire. To feel deeply that something is meant for us but is not here (yet) and not having the power to do anything about it is painful. The more we hold on to it the harder it gets to accept what is or is not. As hard as it is, the only way to feel at peace is to let go of what we want and fully accept what is and where we are right now. This is a process and probably won't happen in a day but every time we catch ourselves obsessing over what we want and the fact that we don't have it we have to bring back a feeling of lightness and acceptance. We can create those feelings when we become aware of our inner world. I think this is how we can let go of something - we cannot make the desire disappear but we can create a peaceful feeling and focus on what is already good in our lives. Letting go doesn't mean giving up on the life we want but accepting the life we have right now. If you can see the positive and feel grateful for all the things you already have you create a state of inner peace and that will transform the frustration about unfulfilled wishes. Pain always comes from resisting what is - peace comes from accepting what is.

To me there are always two viewpoints on life. One is the bigger picture where everything is hundred percent how it is supposed to be no matter how horrible it seems to us. This is the life our soul or higher self chose and want to experience and therefore is perfect in itself. The other perspective is the the one from the human point of view and doesn't seem so perfect unfortunately. As humans we have our desires and needs and if they are not met it simply doesn't feel good. Our ego makes us suffer if we don't get what we want. We live in a world of duality and we are a soul having a human experience which means we will always feel the good and the bad, the pain and the perfection. We have to find a balance and make use of our ego as it is not necessarily bad but helps us to achieve great things and get what we desire. However if things don't work out the way we expect them to it is up to us to take a step back and switch into 'soul-mode' where we can see the bigger picture and the good in everything. Life will always bring challenges, we will not always get what we want as humans but our higher self loves every single experience we have and we can tap into this feeling and chose to see benefits and learning even in difficult situations.

Accepting what is also means to let go of what we have been taught. As mentioned before we all grew up with certain beliefs and ideas about how life is supposed to be and the best thing you can do for yourself is to question those beliefs and get rid of them if they don't align with you. If you want to travel the world in your 30s go for it. If you choose to settle down and live a somewhat traditional life, do it. No matter what you think your life should look like, become very clear about where this idea comes from and if it is yours only. It doesn't matter what your parents, family or friends think is right - only you are living your life and no one else.

As John Lennon said, 'Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans'. If we only focus on what we don't have and the plans that didn't work out we will eventually look back at a life that feels very regretful. Keeping an open mind and becoming aware of the infinite possibilities that life has to offer on the other hand, will bring amazing experiences. Our heart's desires might not disappear but if we fill our lives with what brings us joy while waiting for what we want, it will never feel like wasted time or that we are on the wrong path. It will simply be a life of exciting experiences - and that's what it is about in the end, aka 'the soul-mode'.