Claiming your space - being and making yourself comfortable within and around you

Sometimes you meet people that just have a really strong presence. People who are able to express and take space for themselves. When I say take space for yourself I mean having a healthy amount of self-confidence. I mean being able to show and speak up for yourself and just feel confident with being seen and heard, own your inside as well as your outside - but of course also feeling content being by alone.

It is just easy to be around those people because you can tell they are comfortable with themselves. This energy is contagious and makes you comfortable as well. Most of us though seem to either have issues with claiming their space and showing up for themselves or they are the opposite and invade other people's space, which usually is a compensation for a lack of true self-esteem as well. Especially women learn from a young age to behave, be quiet and don't be too expressive. Our society teaches children to sit still and fit in. No wonder that so many people have problems with expressing their true selves and feeling confident if they are a bit different.

When we are older it shows in all different ways if we didn't learn to own our space. Maybe we are very shy, not able to express our needs or we feel guilty if we say or demand something. Being overly apologetic is also quite common. It seems as if some people feel bad for just being, as if they don't deserve to be here. Due to a variety of reasons we lack self-confidence and feel as if we are not allowed to claim what is ours anyways. Absolutely everyone has the same right to be here and express themselves. Nobody has to apologize for being who they are.

Yet, there will always be people who judge us but those people most likely are not very happy with themselves and mirror that back to the people around them. This shouldn't stop anyone from being their true selves - it actually should encourage us to lead with a good example and show that loving yourself is the most beautiful gift you can give to the world and to yourself.

Have a closer look if you make yourself small in order for others to have more space. Often it already shows in our body language and you literally make yourself physically smaller. Do you apologize very often for trivial things? Or do you have the feeling that you are always in the way? Maybe you think that your wishes and needs are less important than the ones of others? All this can be a sign that you are not giving yourself the room you need and deserve.

We learn that it is honourable to make space for others and often it is not accepted to be self-confident because it could seem arrogant. There is a big difference between being arrogant and confident though. Real confidence helps you to be kind to others and accept them as they are as well. Being arrogant is usually because of a wounded inner self that lacks self-love. Therefore you can't give unconditional love to others. Of course we need to be considerate, help each other, apologize if necessary and show gestures of appreciation. This does not mean that you have to make yourself small. Dare to express yourself in whatever form you want and which feels good to you.

Body work can help you very well to gain back your sense of self as our body is the connection between our inside and our outside world. If you never really felt that you were allowed to be who you truly are, you most certainly have lost a feeling for your self. This might cause depression, a lack of being able to set healthy boundaries and ending up in abusive relationships or just a feeling of being lost in some way. If you work with your body - next to looking at emotional reasons for your struggles - you get to know yourself better and you start to re-learn, at first physically, where you start and end, basically. Our body is our instrument, it is a tool to heal ourselves. When it comes to specific topics like this, it is the number one go to to solve something that happens on a deeper level of our being. This is also why I like the metaphor of taking space - you can literally start by watching your body language and see how you can become more expressive. It doesn't have to be over the top but start by making yourself taller, more straight and see how you feel, and how you will be received by others.

Dancing is an incredible way to connect with yourself and become confident with expressing and showing the authentic you. It doesn't have to be in public - I know that many people are not comfortable with dancing in front of others. If you can't dance in public, without being drunk, just have a little dance session by yourself.

Also Qui Gong and Yoga, everything that connects the physical body and our energy being, will give you a boost of confidence and a better feeling for yourself, your space and your boundaries. You will start to feel good in your own skin.

Always remember, you are enough and you are good enough. You are allowed to be who you want to be. Through being confident, kind and true to yourself, you automatically vibe that to the outside and it will inspire others to be self-confident and claim space for themselves as well.